We feel closer to him in Australia - Josh Baker's parents on dealing with loss

In the moment England secured an Ashes victory over Australia at the Melbourne Cricket Ground, Paul Baker shed a tear.

The last time England won in Melbourne, 15 years ago, Paul and his wife Lisa were in the city with seven-year-old son Josh – cricket-mad and his life ahead of him.

Left-arm spinner Josh would go on to play 47 games for Worcestershire. He tragically died from an undiagnosed heart condition at the age of 20 in May 2024.

Without him, Lisa and Paul are back in Australia. The stars of England's win at the MCG were Josh's old team-mates Josh Tongue and Jacob Bethell.

"It was a moment of reflection," Paul tells BBC Sport. "It was lovely to see England win at the MCG. I've got fond memories of sharing the moment with Josh in 2010."

The Bakers are regular Ashes tourists. They first came to watch England down under for the 2002-03 series when Lisa was five months pregnant with Josh.

Paul is a former second XI captain at Redditch Cricket Club. Lisa knew nothing of the game before she met Paul, but was soon indoctrinated. Cricket was always going to be a huge part of Josh's life, including witnessing the Melbourne and Sydney Tests on England's Ashes-winning tour in 2010-11.

"He loved the Barmy Army, the singing and the chanting," says Paul. "His eyes were on stalks, capturing everything that was going on. We took him to the Barmy Army pub one night and he loved it."

The Bakers have strong ties to Australia. The family has housed Australian overseas players and Josh played in Sydney during the winter before he passed away.

For the first Ashes without Josh, there was nowhere else Lisa and Paul wanted to be.

"Life is too short," says Lisa. "Josh was an only child. We just thought 'let's do it'.

"It's tough because the memories keep popping up on my phone. They're wonderful, but they absolutely break your heart. I look back at them and that was when we were happy. That's so difficult. Not that we're not happy now, but it's very different."

Lisa and Paul have been in Australia for the whole series. For as much as they have been "underwhelmed" by England's defeat, they have also embraced the country – Lisa has even done a skydive.

Watching cricket is bittersweet. There is the solace the game provides entwined with the deep sadness of what might have been.

"All of the England games are comforting, because I wouldn't expect to see Josh there," says Paul.

"The games where I would expect to see Josh playing are the tougher games. The Worcestershire games and the club games are harder to watch, because I would expect him to still be there."

Josh played age-group cricket both with and against Bethell, who marked his Ashes debut in Melbourne with a crucial 40 in England's second-innings run chase.

Lisa and Paul ran into Bethell when they were in the same bar on England's break in Noosa. Bethell split away from his team-mates to spend time with the Bakers.

"We did catch up with him in Noosa," says Lisa. "He seemed in a good place. It was lovely to see him go out there and bat so well in the second innings."

Paul was a former team-mate of Tongue's father Phil at Redditch. With almost six years between them, Josh and Josh would eventually become team-mates at Worcestershire. Pace bowler Tongue's first-innings 5-45 made him player of the match at the MCG.

"It was awesome," says Paul. "I remember seeing Josh as a four-year-old bowling on the square at Redditch, chasing balls around. It was very, very special. And we're really proud of him."

On the morning Josh passed away, he was due to be playing in the final day of a Worcestershire second XI game against Somerset. Since his death the county, Lisa and Paul have looked to each other for support.

"We feel we have to be there for them. As much as we are struggling, those guys need our support," says Paul.

"And we need them," adds Lisa.

That unbreakable bond was deepened further when Worcestershire won a dramatic One-Day Cup final against Hampshire at Trent Bridge in September.

Henry Cullen, Josh's best friend, struck the only delivery he faced for four to seal the match with two balls to spare.

"We didn't think they were going to do it, then they did," says Lisa. "It was an amazing day.

"We were just walking out of the ground and [bowler] Adam Finch came to grab us. He said: 'Where are you going?' and we said: 'We're going back to the hotel'.

"He said: 'No you're not, this is your day as much as ours – you're coming up to the changing rooms'. We went up there and had a glass of champagne. It was just lovely. They didn't need to do that, but they want to include us in everything."

Worcestershire won the One-Day Cup with the logo of the JB33 Foundation on the front of their shirts.

Lisa and Paul set up the charity in Josh's memory because, in Paul's words "we want people to know of him and know about him".

The foundation has so far raised £65,000 through, in part, events like a ball at Worcestershire's New Road and a golf day. But Lisa and Paul have hit an obstacle. Spending the money is proving more problematic than raising it.

"I thought it would be the other way around," says Paul. "Raising money is never easy, but how do we change people's lives, how do we make things better for people and have success stories to tell on the back of it?

"The aim is to give something back to the sport of cricket that we cherish as a family.

"It's not something we have the expertise in, so we're finding out how we can divert funds into helping people, clubs, or the medical side of the game. It could be helping juniors get to matches, or helping families where finances are a barrier."

Now, Lisa and Paul are asking anyone who can give the JB33 Foundation some direction to get in touch via the charity's Instagram page.

"It's something we're very passionate about, because it means so much to us," says Lisa. "We need to start spending and shouting about what we're doing."

Even while they're in Australia, Lisa and Paul are continuing to take calls and hold meetings about the Foundation. When they get home in the new year, they want to press on with their work before the new season begins.

Before then, they will finish their Ashes trip in Sydney. On day one of the fifth Test they will once again be wearing their JB33 T-shirts, as they have on the opening day of each of the previous four.

"It hurts like hell because they have his face on the back, but it's also beautiful," says Lisa.

Like Melbourne, returning to Sydney will stir unbearable emotions that no parent ever should feel.

It was outside the Sydney Cricket Ground where Josh bowled during the Ashes Test of 2011, and it was in the city when Josh had his winter cricketing adventure just months before he passed away.

"He wasn't a big Christmas person," says Lisa. "I don't doubt that he wouldn't have spent a Christmas at home for a long time – he'd have been out here playing cricket.

"He loved his life. Music was a big part. Certain songs come on and I have to take a deep breath. He loved his music. He was always singing.

"Coming to Australia is very special to us now. We feel closer to him out here at Christmas than we would at home."

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, you can visit the BBC Action Line web pages for help and support.

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