Enough with the popcorn buckets

Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

I woke up one day and suddenly the world was “on” popcorn buckets. I have a limit. This is it.

It is no secret that J.R. Fickle enjoys kitsch as much as the next guy. But my kitsch has a purpose (e.g. historical significance or support of an artist). But $60 popcorn buckets? This all feels too…corporate.

And far be it from me to knock someone else’s hobby. If you are into popcorn buckets, I cannot and will not hold that against you. But I’m not jumping on board. Why?

1. They’re not super limited. We aren’t even sure how many are made.

2. They’re everywhere. The fun in a Disney Figment bucket is you had to go to Disney and to one specific spot to find it. Finding the Trader Joe’s mascot? You need to look for it! Mardi Gras Doubloons? You have to be not only in New Orleans, and not only at a parade, but you have to be at the right parade and be in the right place as they’re thrown. Popcorn buckets? Just show up at the theater and be willing to pay $50 for a food holder that will forever remind you of a movie that got a 61 on the Tomatometer.

Are these cool? Yes. The Superman newsstand one, especially. But I’m not sure they’re collectible. You become “the popcorn bucket guy” and you run out of room QUICKLY. Remember Funkos? They were fun and awesome…until everyone realized that they take up a lot of space. Cards are nice and flat. Pennants can fit on walls. But popcorn buckets? Start buying your big plastic storage tubs now.

There are a lot of details we still need filled in on the Mister Mancave memorabilia scandal. So for now we are left to wildly speculate! As is tradition!

In one of my group chats someone called Lemieux a scumbag, but… well… sure. He was probably/assuredly not a good guy, but when I hear scumbag, I think of a low-level huckster with bad intentions. This was sophisticated stuff, getting an auto-pen to recreate signatures is not something you do on a whim. Getting an auto-pen period is not something you do on a whim. Then to have the authenticators' holograms recreated — to the point where Fanatics changed theirs to combat this one guy — is pretty effective/elevated scamming.

J.R. Fickle, believe it or not, is a studier of hoaxes and scams (and urban legends). I cannot recommend this graphic novel enough. And there is one scam that is brilliantly put together — the white van scam. It reminds me of this, a little bit. Both are bad. Both infuriate you. But the effort is above the usual low-level scam.

In its essence, the white van scam is a sophisticated ruse where two guys who supposedly work at an electronics store pull up and offer to sell you speakers they stole from their racist boss (or some play on that trope). The next few details are where they get you, though. They show you an ad for the speakers. They usually have a manifest with orders. They will open the box and show you the front of the speakers, which usually look awesome. You say no thanks, they pressure and cajole, and before you know it you have spent $200 on speakers worth…$40? You’ll see when you check out the back of the speakers.

They are scummy, to be sure. But the sophistication at least commands some respect on an objective level. Lemieux also went down swinging and revealed everything he could before exiting. AGAIN, never nice to scam people. They are garbage. But at least Lemieux showed us, in his final salvo, how high-level collectible fraud can get. Have your guard up AT ALL TIMES. Check seller ratings. If a price is too good to be true, it likely is.

I have seen a hilarious (NSFW) surprise in a video, and it is courtesy of JunkWaxSal on Instagram. This is a Sixth Sense-level twist. But with bilkinis.

If I say anything else, I will spoil it. You don’t need the sound on to get the full effect.

A friend in Italy sent me a pack of Italian Brainrot cards. I don’t know what’s happening here (and the cards are in English), but it feels very much like a quick capitalization on a trend done on poor card stock with a very hard to follow set of game rules. Pokemon, but super confusing.

Still, Europe is usually ahead of us, and these may be worth something…so I opened one pack and held onto the other.

That’s it for me this week, as I continue my quest to find the Lil’ McDonald’s Boo Bucket (which is trending down, as the store – predicted here TWO WEEKS AGO – rises in value. Good luck to my fellow Happy Meal hunters!

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